


Gram Marge and Auntie Carol

by badgerandk



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Comedy, Gen, Grandparents & Grandchildren, I am sorry I am not sure how to tag this, Little old ladies, Silly, discovering fanfiction, introducing grandma to slash, recommending fics, sorta Qui-Gon Jinn/Obi-Wan Kenobi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-19
Updated: 2020-05-14
Packaged: 2020-10-24 05:17:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20700572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/badgerandk/pseuds/badgerandk
Summary: Carol and Marge are two little old ladies who live together (None of your business, sonny!) and are perpetually bored. Marge's grandkid (young adult who is just starting college) is tired of them stealing books and insisting on discussing them out of the blue. An intro to Ao3 and all its glory prompt discussions.





	1. What is Pre-Slash?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [acatbyanyothername](https://archiveofourown.org/users/acatbyanyothername/gifts), [LuvEwan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LuvEwan/gifts).

> This was prompted from a Discord discussion with LuvEwan and acatbyanyothername. The fic you didn't ask for. Very silly premise, two little old ladies are bored and are introduced to fanfiction.

“Grams, just stop…” the new college student spoke in a tone of long-suffering that all teens & young adults recognize as someone who is being embarrassed by someone they loved.

“Seriously sweetie, this grey story is truly an unhealthy relationship. Now. There is nothing wrong with wanting someone to tie you up, but seriously there is a correct way to do so.” the little old woman shook her head.

“Marge, really now, kink-shaming is not acceptable,” the equally old and small lady interrupted, turning to the teen, “but dearie, do make sure to talk to the fellow…”

“Or lady, Carol!” Marge added.

“Beforehand, make sure to have a, what was it called?” Carol continued without pause. “Oh, yes! Safeword!”

“Grams! Just ... wait, here, give me your ipad,” the bright red teen took the device, “Here you have an account now and try reading these”

“Archive of Our Own? Tempting You With Your Desires…” Marge read off the screen. “Qui-what and Obi?”

“The two you said should have just made out already when we watched that film last week,” the teen, young adult really, replied tiredly, “From the Star Wars movie, The Phantom Menace.”

“Oh, yes!” Carol piped in, “So devastating, that death scene was ridiculous. Talking about the boy when they should have been admitting their love.”

“Here,” the teen clicked a few more buttons, “This is the ‘Marked for Later’ queue, I added some stuff. Maybe start with this one….” 

“Giving It Back,” Marge hummed, “What is this ‘Is it pre-slash?’”

“Slash means the relationship is romantic and an ‘&’ means it is platonic relationship.”

“How interesting, so pre-slash is courting related,” Carol responded thoughtfully.

“Errrr….”

“Too much of a good thing is effing dangerous? That doesn’t make any sense,” Marge tutted. 

“That isn’t what you said last night!” Carol chuckled. Catching sight of the pained look on the poor grandkid’s face, she continued quickly, “Too much dairy is bad for your digestion.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Works that were recommended to Marge and Carol:  [ https://archiveofourown.org/works/8537308 ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/8537308)
> 
> [ https://archiveofourown.org/works/14805188 ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14805188)


	2. Alphas and Omegas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marge and Carol fall into the deep end of fanfiction starting with Alpha/Beta/Omega universes. This fic is still T but many (most) of the ones they discuss are M or E.

“Oh. Oh my,” A blushing Marge was sipping tea while reading in her comfortable chair. 

“What have you found now, dear?” Carol couldn’t help but be curious, it took a lot to make Marge blush after all. 

“Oh, have you seen this Alpha math theme?” Marge responded without putting her reading down.

“Hmmm, yes, quite an odd premise. Rather odd that it seems to work. Some of them were, how do the young folks put it, heated?” Carol hummed. “That Qui-Gon is  _ quite _ the alpha!

“Hot, Carol, they are hot.” Marge responded, “Sith Omega Obi getting some on the battlefield is just wonderful, reminds me of Harold and that dame he argues with all the time.” 

“True, sadly they aren’t young anymore so nothing out in public happens of course,” Carol sighed. “Which reminds me, did you see that one with the group? I have no idea who was who but it was rather lovely.”

Marge put her reading away to fan her face, “All Hands on indeed. Was not expecting for there to be such romance in group romp. That was  _ quite _ a fun kink discovery. Though I still prefer things with Qui-Gon. Did you read Willing Captive? Short and scandalous! Fun too.”

“True, Obi was such a naughty boy in that. Mind switching it up is quite fun too. Obi-Wan as an alpha is very nice too,” Marge responded smugly “Also did you catch the one with Alpha Xani-whatist and ‘Heart and Trust’? That first was so heart wrenching, not really my thing but I know you like a good sordid tale.” 

“Yes, it was rather good. I usually don’t like stories with rape but it was so well written and interesting how Qui wanted to be a jedi and satisfying when Obi killed that Xany character. But your right, the second was far better. Still heart wrenching but such sweetness and hope.” Carol sighed happily, “Obi being so determined to be with Qui but only if Qui also wanted it.” 

“An alpha Obi-Wan could also have commanded an omega Qui-Gon in that movie,” Marge said thoughtfully, “Just a lovely way to force that silly man to actually slow down for Obi! You know that Qui-Gon should never have let himself get pulled from his partner.” 

Carol frowned, “Wasn’t there a short fic about that?”

“Oh bother, I can’t remember, though if that is all I forgot this week I am doing well.” Marge waved dismissively, “Did you try clicking that tag thing?”

“Oh yes, that led to quite a collection!” Carol said with a slight blush, “Of course not all of them are  _ romantic _ and some are rather sweet. That cute one where he is taking care of poor Obi who presented right in the middle of class, the poor dear!”

“Or that one where Qui-Gon misunderstood!” Marge chuckled, “I need you indeed, silly dears.”

The two ladies happily sipped their tea, content to let the silence fall.

“So what  _ were  _ you reading?” Carol asked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: these fics are for the most part rated much higher than this one and have a wide variety of situations. Make sure to check tags before reading them! 
> 
>   
  

> 
> Sith Omega Obi-Wan with Jedi Alpha Jinn-  [ https://archiveofourown.org/works/20625863 ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20625863)
> 
> All Hands On -  [ https://archiveofourown.org/series/1294559 ](https://archiveofourown.org/series/1294559)
> 
> Willing Captive  [ https://archiveofourown.org/works/15129272 ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15129272)
> 
> Heart and Trust -  [ https://archiveofourown.org/works/13111146 ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13111146)
> 
> Alpha Xanatos in “There's a chance, so I'll take that desire I can't kill.” This is a really rough one theme wise. Please please please read the tags-  [ https://archiveofourown.org/works/11519244 ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11519244)
> 
> I need you  [ https://archiveofourown.org/works/17220884 ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17220884)
> 
> What Marge forgot - unexpected heat -  [ https://archiveofourown.org/works/16331408 ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16331408)
> 
> HeatedTeen isn’t on Ao3 (it is a nice gen story) but I had to include it  [ https://swpromptsandasks.tumblr.com/tagged/Heatedteen/chrono ](https://swpromptsandasks.tumblr.com/tagged/Heatedteen/chrono)
> 
> Other items on Marge’s reading list: 
> 
> Broken Hyperdrive  [ https://archiveofourown.org/works/8387281 ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/8387281)
> 
> As you wish dear one  [ https://archiveofourown.org/works/8507350 ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/8507350)
> 
> One big pack  [ https://archiveofourown.org/works/12314802 ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12314802)
> 
> Homecoming  [ https://archiveofourown.org/works/12781425 ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12781425)


	3. It had the Umph

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carol ignores the tags to Marge's annoyance. Maybe the grandkid can talk sense into them!

_ Tears fell down her wrinkled cheeks as she gasped, feeling as though her heart was failing her. Dark despair filled her soul as she realized there was no hope, no escape and all were doomed. _

* * *

“Why do you do this to yourself?” Marge tutted. “You know that it makes you upset when Qui-Gon or Obi-Wan dies. 

“I didn’t mean to!” Carol wailed, “I thought it was just going to have some stupid men not talking to each other and pining after each other not dying!”

“Hmmmm, oh poor dear, are you reading the ones without warnings again? You are more than fully grown!” Marge caught the sparkly throw pillow aimed at her head, “I am _ not _ calling you fat, dear. It can be simple to see where some of these are going, just stop reading.”

“No! I learned my lesson about the missing warnings, and that is like putting the chocolate away when there is only a half serving left! You should just finish it so you can buy the next one!” Carol reached for the box of facial tissues, “You know I struggle with self-discipline and some of these are written so beautifully…”

** _Dun Dun Da Dun dun da dun _ **

Marge shook her head as she got up to answer the door, “Still, you know better. The author’s name is I_Gave_You_Fair_Warning! You can’t get more direct ‘beware’ sign that that!”

“Grams,” the young adult smiled as Marge opened the door.

“Oh, Ava, good! Come in and talk Carol into reading those tags that you showed us!” Marge hugged and then marched her over to the couch. 

“I did!” Carol protested, dabbing at her eyes,“I specifically picked one with umph! So it will end on a high note.”

Ava looked at the tags of the fic, “Autie, that is ‘Whump’ not ‘umph’ that is heavy angst! Usually with a very sad ending!”

“Well, this is better than last week's Phoenix debacle. She thought that if Obi-Wan came back to life she could handle it.” Marge sighed, “At least we can learn from this.” 

“How did you not learn from that?” Ava asked, “I know I keep odd hours for school but I do not need frantic midnight phone calls about stories you are reading.”

“Oh, she is still reading it,” Marge glared at Carol, “Apparently, it was too good to stop.”

“I am careful about when I read it, I have to be in the right mood,” Carol said, taking her e-reader back. 

“True, sometimes you just want to see the world burn.” Marge hummed.

“Grams!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, their doorbell song is the Imperial March. 
> 
> I love   
[ I_Gave_You_Fair_Warning ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_Gave_You_Fair_Warning/works)  
’s work but I have to be very, very careful about which ones I read. There aren’t any labeled Whump in this authors collection but I decided to take a few liberties as I don’t read whump or sad fics as I am very much in Marge’s court. I know I can’t handle them so I pay attention to the tags. I_Gave_You_Fair_Warning’s tags are always really clear so I feel free to carefully enjoy some of the fics. 
> 
> Phoenix   
[ https://archiveofourown.org/works/13468527 ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13468527)  



	4. Traveling Side Ways

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carol continues to make questionable (for her) reading choices and Marge discovers something interesting about Ao3.

“Carol, I have had enough of your crying, let's get you onto something else. What about that Wheel of time? Or time of if? Oh, what was it?” Marge hummed as she looked through her history, “Try this “Wheel of If” It has quite a lot of drama and pain but had a lovely ending! You seem to like punishing yourself but you can’t handle the sad endings, darling!”

“I know you are right, but it is hard when such wonderful authors write that Whump stuff.” Carol sniffled, “I am doing better at looking for hurt and hug thingies but it is hard to find them!”

“Hurt slash comfort, Carol, not hurt hug,” Marge sighed in exasperation, “And you are right, some of these are far too heavy to hurt on occasion. Just try this if thing.” 

* * *

“You are right, Wheel of If had plenty of good times to balance out Obi-Wan’s journey.” Carol sighed happily. “Though that poor boy had a terrible time finding the Qui-Gon for him.” 

“True,” Marge said looking up from where she had balanced her e-reader precariously so she could knit at the same time, “I thought there was enough, what was it? Anguish? Angst! For you, dear. Honestly, That one with the spin-off writer was more my thing.”   
“Oh, yes,” Carol said, fanning her face, “That one was quite stimulating, but had rather a surprising amount of plot.” 

“Hmmmm, yes,” Marge looked up and paused, a rather glazed look in her eyes, before shaking her head and continuing briskly, “Now I am exploring some time-travel novels. Novelas? What did Ava call them?”

“Fics?” Carol said hesitantly, “Honestly, I don’t like all of the shortening of words, seems lazy!”

Marge nodded in agreement, “True, but when in Rome I suppose. Anyways, this fic has Obi-Wan and Anakin traveling side-ways.”

“How does that work? Side ways?” Carol interrupted, “Traveling backwards is confusing enough, I would say.”

“Oh, hush, it is similar to that Wheel business, different choices make different galaxies,” Marge tutted, “I do love it and keep going back to read it.” 

“Oh fine, I will give it a try! But you must try this Reasons Both Wretched and Divine story,” Carol huffed back, “It teases this idea that they are  _ Sith _ of all things and fixes that horrid judgment scene from the movie.”

“OOooooo, that sounds interesting!” Marge peered with interest at the screen, “What was said in front of the council did  _ not _ make sense at all!” 

* * *

“Carol, did you realize you can click a tag at the top?” Marge hit Carol with one hand, unable to tear her eyes from her screen, “There are more with this sith business!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always pay attention to the tags: 
> 
> Wheel of If:  [ https://archiveofourown.org/works/6046123 ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6046123) (Make sure to use the links on this first one as not all of them are on Ao3! 
> 
> Obi-Wan Kenobi: Jedi Action Hero:  [ https://archiveofourown.org/series/180506 ](https://archiveofourown.org/series/180506)
> 
> Side-Slip  [ https://archiveofourown.org/series/873435 ](https://archiveofourown.org/series/873435)
> 
> Fix-Its for the Council Scene:
> 
> Reasons Both Wretched and Divine:  [ https://archiveofourown.org/works/18903640#main ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18903640#main)

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to recommend fics that these ladies should discuss in the comments!


End file.
